Saturday, July 30, 2011

Transcribing My Past

I've been writing and saving my fiction since I was 8. At present, the papers are in an overlarge plastic container, but a week or two ago I got the wild idea of retyping them, more or less as written, just in case the paper got lost or damaged. It's interesting going back through my mind at those times. I wrote fiction as a form of therapy, escaping unpleasantness with my peers by imagining myself as a leader. Long before I became an adult, I was trying to imagine myself as one. Even at that age, I had an ear for dialogue--not great, mind you, but enough that I understood the rhythms of how people speak.

I suppose what I am doing more than anything is sorting out who I was and comparing that to who I am now. I'm on a bit of an introversion kick right now--putting my free time to work making sense of myself, getting comfortable with myself. It has occurred to me of late that I just might spend the rest of my life as a single person. If that's the case, I might as well take that time to do something constructive with my time. Figure out what I'm going to do with myself, if nothing else. I really did achieve most of my goals from childhood. Okay, that whole thing about commanding my own space fleet will probably never happen, but my professional goals of working with Disney, the military, and space have all come true. So the question becomes, as I bump up against 42 next week, what the heck do I do next?

Maybe by looking back I can help myself look forward. It's a theory, anyway.

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