Tuesday, September 02, 2014

INFJs and the Elusive Difficulties of Simple Pleasures

This blog started with a Twitter exchange:

The basic problem seems to be that people of a certain temperament--say, INFJs--have a problem just letting things be and enjoying simple pleasures. Pick one: being with family, walking on the beach, having a quiet meal with friends. Are such things simple? It depends on how you look at them, and that's the point.

What does an introverted-intuitive-feeling-judging person do in times of quiet enjoyment? Absorb the moment. It's our default response. We don't say a lot. Instead, we observe what's going on around us, to differing degrees and with different emphases, depending on the individual. Some focus on remembering the details of faces, some of conversations, some of the thoughts or feelings or sensations we have while in the moment. For the INFJ, the details are part of the moment. We collect such complex "simple" pleasures because it's our nature to do so.

That's not to say we can't enjoy our quiet or simple moments; we just have a lot going on inside. If you see someone whose personality you know to be an INFJ and they have a quiet smile on their face, just let them enjoy. You might ask them, "What are you thinking?" but while their hard drive is crunching a lot of data at that moment, they might say something simple like, "I'm just happy."

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