How to Decide Who to Cheer for During the Super Bowl

It's a common occurrence: you've been invited to a Super Bowl party, and you can't decide whom to root for because a) you're not a football fan (what the heck's WRONG with you?!?) or b) your team isn't playing. So how do you line up? Assuming there's no political/peer pressure in the room--say, your boss being there and really being a fan of the Schenechtady Demolishers or whatever--you're free to choose your own path.

For years, I've been using the Father Dan method of choosing a team to root for during random sports events. These rules work for football, baseball, basketball, or nearly any American team sport. Please keep in mind, however, that it is a very Leahyish and very Chicagoan formula. Your mileage may vary, depending on where you live. But really, for the Chicago sports fan, things are usually pretty simple:

• In an East vs. West game, root for the team from the East.
• In a North vs. South game, root for the team from the North.
• If one team is from New York, root for the other team.
• If both teams are from New York, root for the NFC over the AFC (or, in baseball, National League vs. American League).
• If one team recently won against a Chicago team under murky circumstances, root for the other guys.

If none of that made sense, or you still can't bring yourself to care, focus on the food, beer, and commercials. Have fun, and drive safely!