Pages

Showing posts with label Star Wars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Wars. Show all posts

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Thoughts on War in Space

Proof that I do take requests...Lin suggested I write on this topic, so what the heck.

Let me start with this: I'm against war in space for a whole number of reasons. But first, I should lay a little groundwork for what I'm talking about.

Space During the Cold War
The US and the Soviet Union put up surveillance satellites almost as soon as they knew how to do so. The primary reason for these satellites, of course, was to track troop and naval movements as well as spy on any activity involving nuclear weapons (intercontinental ballistic missiles, or ICBMs). ICBMs themselves are long-range suborbital rockets that briefly leave the atmosphere before reentering and striking their targets with fission or fusion warheads.

While we were neck-deep into the Cold War, the U.S. was feverishly looking for ways to defend the nation in ways that didn't call for Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD). Developments included massive radars, high-speed ground-based missiles, and other classified toys, most of which were scrapped or declared illegal by the Anti-Ballistic Missile (ABM) Treaty, signed by President Nixon in 1972.

In the midst of all this military activity, the Space Race was born. That the US and USSR (look it up, kids--I'm not going to explain ALL the history to you) were engaged in a contest for military supremacy was obvious to the whole world. However, in the wake of World War II, both sides were also trying to win hearts, minds, and allies through peaceful means because legions and empires are expensive. If you can "win the crowd," you just might win a few converts. Thus did Russia and America race to launch satellites and then men into space and, eventually, toward the Moon. We won that race through a supreme effort of national will...and through the fortunate circumstance that the Russians' moon rocket exploded. On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the Moon, and America won the great Space Race of the 1960s.

After the Space Race
It would take another 20 years before the US won the Cold War (and some folks will still dispute that, including Vladimir Putin). In the meantime, space was still "up there." We still had nuclear missiles and satellites and a large NASA infrastructure for sending human beings into space. In Kazakstan, the Russians were still launching rockets and, eventually, space stations. We launched our own space station, Skylab, and eventually even a symbolic joint manned spacecraft docking with the Russians in 1975. After that came a long drought, out of which was born the Space Shuttle, the system we have today.

But meanwhile, back in the defense world, the generals and other technological dreamers saw all the cool hardware we had built during our race to the Moon and thought we could use some or all of it to defeat a massive ICBM strike before it ever hit the US. In an essay titled "How to Save Civilization (and Make a Little Money)," science fiction writer Larry Niven describes how a group of generals, physicists, and science fiction writers gathered in Niven's home proposed a series of technologies born out of the Space Race to defeat Russian missiles. This proposal eventually became formalized as the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI). SDI included an extensive series of ground- and space-based missiles and lasers to knock down ICBMs upon launch, during boost and cruise, and during reentry. Other defenses included kinetic energy vehicles (KEVs), which were guided, non-nuclear missiles that would strike missiles in flight and destroy them. The laws of physics dictate that force = mass X acceleration, and a small mass flying at tens of kilometers a second was more than enough to take down an ICBM.

So Ronald Reagan bought off on the idea, and preliminary work began on all of it: interceptor missiles (you might have heard of the Patriot Missile System, or PAC-3, which defended Israel and US troops during Desert Shield/Storm), particle weapons, guided weapons in space (Brilliant Pebbles), and the rest. SDI was a staggering concept, so staggering that Mikhail Gorbachev offered to eliminate nearly all of his nation's ICBMs if Reagan would give it up. Reagan wouldn't do it, and SDI continued.

Space After the Cold War
Jerry Pournelle, one of the writers in the Niven house when SDI was first proposed, has claimed that SDI helped win the Cold War, as the Soviets could not hope to keep up with Reagan's conventional military buildup, the MX Peacekeeper Missile system, and SDI, so they shifted to glasnost and perestroika instead.

Regardless, the end of the Soviet Union, like the landing of Apollo 11 on the Sea of Tranquility, did not end our nation's military problems in space, though efforts had been made during the Cold War to contain the problem. The Test Ban Treaty of 1963 had restricted above-ground testing of nuclear weapons and forbade the use of nuclear weapons in space. The 1967 Outer Space Treaty tried to eliminate another potential source of conflict by stating that no nation had the right to claim or own territory in outer space. The 1979 Moon Treaty (defeated by the L5 Society, predecessor of the National Space Society) would have banned private property of any kind from the Moon. All these treaties aside, the potential for conflict in space is still possible, especially now that there are more nations capable of reaching space and sending up payloads capable of damaging or destroying others.

The US reconfigured Space Station Freedom to become the International Space Station as a way to subsidize non-communist Russia's space program and keep that nation's aerospace engineers ("rocket scientists") from going off to build rockets and missiles for unfriendly nations like Iran or North Korea. And while the loss of Space Shuttle Columbia delayed the construction of ISS, the station is nearly complete now, and soon the Shuttle will be retired, to be replaced by Russian, European, Japanese, and eventually US commercial crew and cargo vehicles.

War in Space, 21st Century Style
There are now nine nations or entities capable of building a rocket that can launch unmanned payloads into space: US, Russia, China, Japan, China, the European Union, India, Israel, and Iran. North Korea and Syria have ballistic (suborbital) rockets, as do many other nations. There are also many more nations now in possession of nuclear weapons than there were in the 1960s, and not all of the rocket-launching or nuclear-weapons-building nations are parties to the treaties signed 40+ years ago.

We are a long way off from troops battling it out with lasers in orbit (see Star Wars or the silly-but-fun James Bond film, Moonraker). But damage can still be done. A bucket of sand launched in a retrograde (opposite direction) orbit toward one of our satellites or (heaven forbid) manned spacecraft or stations would cause catastrophic damage. Of course another nation need not be so blatant as to launch kinetic weapons like that. China shot down one of its own satellites a few years ago, and a decommissioned Russian satellite collided with an Iridium commercial satellite after that. Neither of these acts is blatantly hostile--and the Russian satellite mishap was written off as an accident--but they do demonstrate what sorts of capabilities exist to create damage to space-based assets.

Accidental debris ranging from tiny flecks of paint up to full-size rocket stages and decommissioned satellites is still flying around in ever-increasing swarms along the most common orbits (700-800 kilometers/km and 35,888 km, to pick two) needed to conduct what is now basic economic activity. There are around 20,000 objects up there that we can track from the ground. That's just the stuff we can see, generally anything bigger than a baseball. The small stuff, more numerous, might be an even bigger hazard. Ever have a pebble crack your windshield after hitting it at 60 miles per hour? Then imagine how much damage that same pebble would cause to a spacecraft in orbit traveling at 10-20 km/second with no air resistance!

While this essay has focused primarily on military hardware, the fact remains that we depend very heavily upon satellites for a range of critical services, including communication (phone, TV, radio, internet), weather, environmental monitoring, search and rescue, global positioning systems, and yes, commercial and military surveillance.

It is that infrastructure that is at risk if anyone--us, our allies, or our enemies--start making messes up there deliberately. How effective would the Weather Channel be without satellite coverage of hurricanes? How many lives would be lost if floods or landslides were not detected? What sorts of mischief could unfriendly nations do with their armed forces if we were unable to detect their movements or transmit their activities on TV "via satellite," a new phenomenon just within my lifetime?

Long-term, there are other downsides to orbits full of junk left over from a destructive war in space: we might not be able to launch human beings or scientific instruments into orbit if the chances of impact and damage were 100%. If an asteroid were heading our way, we wouldn't even be able to launch anything to stop it. We would be stuck, as a species, on our one planet for the remainder of our lifetimes unless we were willing to wait years, decades, or even centuries until gravity cleared the skies for us--or we could hope for a friendly passing alien willing to clear our skies with a few orbiting bolt catchers. Regardless, we must continue to protect our nation's critical space infrastructure, hopefully without triggering the very conflict capable of destroying it.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Potpourri CL

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but I'll keep the links to a minimum, for your sanity's sake, and mine.

Science fiction writer Charles Stross has a provocative essay on why space exploration is inherently incompatible with the libertarianism that seems to pervade so much of the pro-space community.  It's not that I disagree with most of Stross's individual points, but I think he's missing a crucial aspect of the appeal of space exploration, even among non-libertarian white males, which is simply the romantic notion many human beings have of going "where no one has gone before," which includes more than a little "frontier narrative."

I found an intriguing paper via Facebook that links creativity to law-breaking. I have a very long response to this paper in the works, but I'm a little on the sleepy side to finish it this evening. The truth is out there.

From Lin: Interesting conflict of values in the whole "green power" debate: if those giant windmills kill hundreds or thousands of bats, birds, etc., which faction of the environmental movement wins that debate?

From Karen: a personal website for one of folks who designs cool things for Hollywood.

From Martin: a wiki for those interested in commercial space.

Oh, here's a shock (sarcasm font ON): Huntsville has been rated among the top 10 geekiest cities in America.

From Antoinette: celebrity commentaries on the stupid stuff you see on TV.

From OpenCulture:
  • An interview with Jorge Luis Borges recorded before the eminent SF writer died.
  • Harvard University has released an open-source program to help scholars create project-related web sites in a hurry.
From Jerry Pournelle: some remarks on the Tea Party movement and its effect on the American political scene, as well as other matters.

From Jim P.: The top ten human-hating ecologists.

From Mom: a time-lapse video showing the "progress" of unemployment across the country. Note the "bright" spots in the underpopulated Great Plains and just outside Washington, DC. If those are the choices...think I'll tough it out here in Huntsville. The taxes are lower and the weather's warmer.

I'm probably going to lose my battle against my buying urges on this one: a Star Wars sun shade for the dashboard.

From Janel (a.k.a. FemiFist): some suggested links if you need to do web tracking of your marketing efforts.

And I think that'll about do it. Have a good week, everyone. Keep the chaos down to a minimum on your end, and I'll try to do the same on mine, 'kay?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Potpourri CXXXIX

Science, Technology, & Space



The InfoLadies of Bangladesh. This is pretty cool!


Zero-energy buildings? Yes.


Facebook’s CEO Mark Zuckerberg has admitted to making “mistakes” with FB’s privacy policies.


Amateur sky watchers have spotted the X-37.

The first named storm of the 2010 hurricane season might be forming in the Atlantic. (FYI, the season usually starts June 1).


BeBionic has released its latest bionic hand.


Ever seen a ship being lifted out of the sea? Check this out!


Solar-powered transforming robots for kids. Cool!


Boldly going where no one has gone before: if you must know, here’s some training information on going to the bathroom in space.


Jeff Foust on the challenges ahead for commercial space.

Okay, this is just cool: a time-lapse of Space Shuttle processing at Kennedy Space Center.

The European Space Agency is looking at creating artificial solar eclipses.



Foreign Affairs




President Obama orders U.S. forces in South Korea to be prepared to “ensure readiness and deter further aggression” by North Korea.


Girls wearing “emo” fashion arrested by the religious police in Saudi Arabia.


FoxNews.com has a non-scientific opinion poll on which entity poses the biggest threat to the U.S.


U.S. Politics


Got to admit this is a new one: Sarah Palin has accused Barack Obama of being “too close” to oil companies. However, oil companies donate to campaigns on both sides of the aisle, so I don’t see this as a big shock. Not thrilling or admirable, mind you, but not surprising, either.


The state of Arizona is asking President Obama for UAVs and helicopters to help patrol its southern border for illegal aliens.


Education Secretary Ame Duncan is asking for a $23 billion emergency to fund public schools. I don’t object to the notion, per se. I just like to point out that NASA’s entire budget for robotic exploration, human exploration (Constellation) program, the Space Shuttle, International Space Station operations, telescopes, Earth observation, and aeronautical research—totals around $18 billion. But we’re supposed to be living in a “budget-constrained environment.” Lesson learned: the budget isn’t constrained if the money being spent is a priority of the President or the Congress. Second lesson learned: space isn't a priority!



I'm shocked, shocked...The Government Accountability Office (GAO) wants to review the Transportation Security Agency's screening processes after they failed to spot and stop people on the "watch list."


Culture


Papercraft junkbots? Only in Japan, I guess. Maybe Father Dan would like this as a project?


I, Lobot: a day in the life of Lando Calrissian’s minion.


This could be interesting: an anthology of Filipino speculative fiction.

Mark Twain’s autobiography finally to be published. This could be very cool!


How to avoid Chinese censors. I like it! Of course now they’ll be all over this.


A 13-year-old boy has climbed Mt. Everest. Okay, so how inadequate did that just make YOU feel? Quoth James T. Kirk: “How do I feel? Old. Worn out.”


A geek alphabet. Gotta love it.


Not like I particularly give a flip about hockey, but it’s nice to see a Chicago team achieve some victories. The Blackhawks are going to the Stanley Cup Finals.


A Star Wars tuxedo shirt, complete with “TIE.”

Firefly fans have created their own film: Browncoats: Redemption.

From Gwen: Harrison Ford talks about the experience of filming Star Wars.

More tomorrow, kids. It's been a long day.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Potpourri L (for 50, not for Large)

Holy cats! WAY too much stuff in the inbox this evening. Well, I'd best get cracking. I've got a couple letters to write tonight, too. The wild, out-of-control life of a space geek blogger.

The Space Frontier Foundation has extended the deadline for its space business plan prize to June 19. Don't have time for it myself, but there might come a day when $5,000 might come in handy. I have ideas, mind you, just haven't got the time to focus at the moment.

The web site for the Human Space Flight Panel is now up. If you're ready to tell the representatives of your elected officials what they should do with the human spaceflight program, now is the time. Go get 'em!

Some more stuff from Lin on the potential for hyperinflation, which I've addressed on this site before.

For those of you who are familiar with the term, my apologies. The point is that we are almost out of wiggle room when we have to send the US Secretary of the Treasury hat-in-hand to grovel to the Chinese to keep buying our worthless paper.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantitative_easing
http://dailyreckoning.com/us-stuck-in-inflation-causing-positions/print/
http://dailyreckoning.com/the-gold-bull-market-and-the-fed-it-rode-in-on/print/

Tip o' the fedora to Martin for finding this: a diorama of a sort of Mount Rushmore for the Moon. It's pretty cool.

I got this summary on the Air France crash from my daily AIAA news feed:

ABC World News (6/4, story 5, 2:15, Gibson) reported, "Next, to the investigation into Air France Flight 447. ... French investigators reported that automatic messages from the plane indicated it was not maintaining consistent air speed. And that prompted the plane's manufacturer, Airbus, to issue a warning to all airlines flying its planes." ABC (Stark) added, "Late today, Airbus warned airlines that fly all models of Airbus planes to follow correct procedures if pilots are dealing with unreliable speed indications or data. ... In what's called an accident information telex, Airbus reminded airlines that if that occurs, pilots should maintain their power and level off if necessary, and start troubleshooting procedures. Aviation experts say in some cases, such air speed problems can be difficult for cockpit crews to detect."

Jeff Foust found some insightful stuff from the Aerospace Safety Advisory Panel on former NASA Administrator Mike Griffin.

Ian Murphy asks some tough questions about the "why" of space exploration, a topic that motivates most of why I do what I do for the space business.

Need free internet "radio?" Doc had a couple of suggestions for me the other day:

Bored with "Whack a Mole?" Try "Whack a Kitty." I am not kidding--the couple who put this video together--and it really is pretty harmless--were on one of the cable news shows because some folks on the internet were utterly offended and thought they were encouraging cruelty to animals. And speaking of cats, someone else sent me an internet video on cat yodeling. No doubt someone will raise heck about this as well. This is probably why Robert D. Raiford calls us the United States of the Offended. Sense of humor is apparently out the window.

Congress is cutting the exploration portion of the NASA budget. Oh, joy.

Okay, I don't talk about my day job much, but I thought I'd share this. Dan Kanigan, the NASA Public Affairs Office (PAO) guy I work with on Ares I-X, got a break from I-X to travel along with the Shuttle Carrier Aircraft (SCA) 747 as it ferried Atlantis back to Kennedy Space Center. He did a couple of cool live reports, which are worth watching:

Guy Laliberte, the founder of Cirque du Soleil, has bought himself a ticket to be a tourist at the International Space Station.

There's a great editorial on CNN.com on why the future ain't what it used to be. It called to mind the Avery Brooks commercials done for AT&T, where he railed, "Where are the flying cars? There were supposed to be flying cars!"

Some good stuff from Tracy:

From the NASA PAO, a notice of NASA research opportunities.

Some great discussion at work today. I learned, for example, that it's often cheaper to buy Xbox 360 to play Blu-Ray DVDs than to buy a straight DVD player. What else? Oh yeah, Doc also mentioned that Microsoft has an online store for buying music and podcasts via Xbox and the Microsoft Zune marketplace. This is akin to the Amazon store feature available via Kindle. The convergence of new media continues. If I want to make money in the future, I'm going to have to describe myself as a "content developer," not a "writer." Writing implies pens, typewriters, paper, and other archaic technologies. We'll have none of THAT stuff on the Internet, pal...

We also had a discussion about some guy plugging an eyeball-size camera, which transmits images to a server via wireless internet. This might be a next step toward connecting the camera to the human brain--the Singularity moves ever closer.

Doc and I had an extended conversation on the merits of various adults beverages. He's a beer and whiskey snob, I'm a wee bit of a wine snob. We're both occasional fans of bourbon whiskey. He recommended a few brands that I might consider trying "if you have some money to burn." They include:

And here's the quotation of the day, also from Doc (though a bit altered, as I didn't write it down precisely when and as he said it): "You can't help having ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) anymore. It's not an affliction anymore, it's a survival skill." HA! Perfect!

And lastly, there's a new Star Wars video game coming out about the Old Republic. The lead villain looks like a character I created for my own sequels and prequels backindaday. I probably won't play the game, as I don't own a game console (I waste enough time "talking" to people who are reputedly "real" on the internet as it is). The game's "trailer" looked pretty cool, though.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Worst Star Wars Costumes Ever

Okay, some of the costumes I cobbled together in my youth were pretty bad, but the ones on this site make some of my lame attempts look like works of astonishing genius: http://www.holytaco.com/worst-homemade-star-wars-costumes

Enjoy.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Movie Review: The Clone Wars

Reviewer's notice: There are some minor spoilers in this review if you've not seen the new film; some major spoilers if you've never seen a Star Wars film in your life.

I went into this movie with pretty low expectations, mostly because I really despise Episodes I through III of George Lucas' Star Wars epic. I'll try to minimize my discussions of the six-movie cycle so I can focus on this particular film, but something must be said about how The Clone Wars fits into the big picture. Episodes IV-VI, the first Star Wars films made, cover the story of the redemption of a villain, Anakin Skywalker (a.k.a. Darth Vader). Episodes I-III, made ~20 years later, depict the making of Skywalker into a villain, with Episode I depicting him as an innocent, Episode II showing him conflicted, and Episode III showing his final fall into evil. The Clone Wars takes place between Episodes II and III.

I'll explain a couple of things up front: First, The Clone Wars is a cartoon, of the Japanese animé variety, which features fantastic environments, characters with over-large eyes, and extended, near-rubbery limbs. Second, as far as I can tell, none of the voices of the original actors were used. This is probably a blessing. Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman are bad enough actors in person. I don't need to hear them act badly, though the kid standing in for Christensen comes close. Next, this movie is not directly related to the cartoon series that appeared on Cartoon Network a few years ago. It Is, however, a big-screen attempt to debut yet another cartoon series covering Anakin Skywalker's and Obi-wan Kenobi's adventures during the Clone Wars.

Here's the good news: this film is not nearly as bad as the episodes that surround it in the "live-action" movies. By minimizing dialogue, maximizing battles, and not using George Lucas as writer or director, the director of The Clone Wars managed to put together a decent adventure story. They even manage to introduce a new character--a padawan (trainee) for Anakin to train--that, had she existed in the series, might have offered some hope of humanizing Hayden Christensen. There are some other cute bits. For instance, instead of the usual screen-crawl story opener, the director jumped right into the middle of the action, showing battles going on as a breathless narrator, sounding like he just left a Flash Gordon or Captain Proton episode, gives a quick explanation of what's going on. Also, the story introduces some more of Jabba the Hutt's relatives, including his son and Uncle Zero (a priceless reincarnation of--no kidding--Truman Capote). So if you'd like to watch a movie with plenty of spacecraft, laser battles, explosions, and lightsaber duels, this is the movie for you. The violence, while slightly cartoony, is probably safe for kids 10+.

But. But but but but but!!!

There are so many little issues that bug me about this film that I simply cannot restrain myself.

Let's consider the Clone Army, introduced in Episode II. In Episode II the Clones, the original templates for the Stormtroopers, are revealed to all be derived from a single man, Jango Fett, father of Boba Fett, a bounty hunter who captured Han Solo in Episode V. They all look alike, as clones should, and are uniformly obedient soldiers.

We were led to believe, at the end of Episode II, that the advent of these white-helmeted troops was troubling and foretold evil, in the form of increasing government power and centralization. After all, these are the predecessors of the Imperial Stormtroopers that would be such a menace in Episodes IV-VI. In those films, the Stormtroopers are faceless, marching in lockstep, wearing masks that have frowns embedded into them. They are the friggin' bad guys, and there's little love lost between audience and villain when said villains are lasered or exploded en masse. The Clone Wars gives us a different picture. Now, the soldiers making up this cloned army have striven to become individuals. Helmets off, they wear different names, hairstyles, and hair colors to give themselves some sense of identity. This makes sense, if you think about it. Wouldn't YOU want to be seen as unique, if you were surrounded by a million buddies who all looked and sounded just like you? But here's the point that bugs me: we aren't supposed to like or care about these troops as individuals. Remember that part again about how they would eventually turn evil and become the Stormtroopers of lore?

Next, we have Anakin's new padawan, a somewhat reckless pre-teen girl named Asoka. As I said before, she could have humanized Anakin Skywalker, and she does in this film. But we don't want Anakin humanized. He's on the verge of becoming Darth Vader! In the midst of his fall toward destruction, why are we treated to this warmer, heroic Anakin Skywalker? Could it be that Lucas really likes anti-heroes like Anakin and just couldn't bear to have people think of him as a villain?

Well, jeez. Darth Vader was and is one of the greatest screen villains ever created. His redemption at the end of Episode VI is a surprise and cinematic triumph. The series could've ended with Return of the Jedi. We could've gone to our graves speculating about what happened in Episodes I-III, and been perfectly happy with that. But no: Lucas felt the need to show us the innocent child who didn't talk like a child, the whining, creepy, out-of-control youth, and the truly over-the-edge young adult that led to the guy wearing the big black helmet, cape, and scuba gear. Asoka is a narrative anomaly; one can only presume that she will meet her demise sometime between this movie and Episode III.

Next, we have Jabba the Hutt's little offspring and over-the-top uncle. They're interesting. They're cute. They give Jabba heart and depth. We don't want him to have either. He's a frickin' BAD GUY! One of the reasons Star Wars was so popular when it came out--and it's a reason Lucas seems to have forgotten--is that it was a simple morality tale of good versus evil. And the point of good was to destroy evil. Not sympathize with it. Not "understand" it. Blow it up. Fire lasers at it. Blow up its spaceships. Shoot its troops. Evil was not to be surrendered to except as a tactical maneuver/temporary retreat, and we weren't supposed to feel bad when its practitioners died. We were supposed to cheer! Star Wars was the great war story of its time, at a time when more movies were morally ambiguous, nihilistic, or actively evil. Star Wars uplifted, as it showed the triumph of good, friendship, freedom, and all the other things good is supposed to stand for.

Consider the following blurbs from the opening crawls of Episode IV (the original Star Wars) and Episode III (Revenge of the Sith, made last):

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spacecraft, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

We can argue the literary value of the prose at some other point. Right now I'd like to ask: what are impressionable young kids supposed to make of "There are heroes on both sides"? I was 8 when Star Wars came out. I got the first message. Would I have understood the notion of both sides being good? Would I have had a clue about adult and murky concepts like moral equivalence? Would I have wanted to? You go to an adventure movie hoping to root for one side or the other because you expect one side, preferably the bad guys, to be defeated.

The Clone Wars is especially problematic, then, because we find ourselves rooting for the restoration of Jabba's family (the kidnapping of his son is what sets the action into motion). We find ourselves feeling sympathy for the Clones as they fall in battle and cry "Medic!" as their comrades fall in battle. We find ourselves liking Anakin Skywalker, who is one movie away from going completely off his nut and becoming Darth Vader. We find ourselves getting attached to a new character who is improving a character we know to be dangerously flawed; we can guess that she probably gets offed some way between now and Episode III. In short, we're rooting for the wrong people for the wrong reasons. You've got to jump through some real emotional hoops to appreciate this movie on its own merits, especially if you care about and understand the histories of these characters.

Okay, I get a little pedantic about these things, partially because I do care about good and evil, and partially because I really liked Episodes IV-VI, which is why I was so disappointed by the prequels. The Clone Wars is a product of the prequels and Lucas' now-ambiguous moral universe, and so cannot be taken out of context. If it were the only movie of its kind, it would probably win awards all over the place for its technical virtuosity, interesting characters, and dazzling space-opera environments. However, this is a Star Wars movie, and that means it must enjoy and suffer the inevitable comparisons to the other films in the series. It carries baggage from the other films, and that baggage does not match.

We also have the plot. Again, it's pretty much a standard space opera adventure. However, like Episodes II and III, it involves unnecessarily complicated plans and counter-plans employed by the Jedi, Count Dooku, and Chancellor Palpatine, the man who would soon become Emperor. Some characters drop in from nowhere and are not explained. We are given no clue that Palpatine is anything other than a benevolent Chancellor.

Perhaps it's just as well that I've run out of things to say. It's too aggravating to delve into deeper. The force is no longer with Lucas. I hope someone eventually has the sense to stop him from further muddying and milking this franchise.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Movie Reviews: Star Wars, Episodes I-III

I'm reminded of a line from "Down Periscope" when it comes to the Star Wars prequels: "It's running like a Swiss...car."

Once upon a time, George Lucas was in touch with how to move people or at least tell a decent story. "Star Wars," despite the half-@$$ed acting and physics-defying space battles, moves you, goes like gangbusters, and has a cast with a certain chemistry, emotive energy, and charm. He then made the wise move of allowing a couple of other directors direct the next two films. "The Empire Strikes Back" is without a doubt the best dramatic film of the lot.

But then Lucas went on to other projects. Howard the Duck. Tucker. Willow. You know: the classics. They moved along like cars on octagonal wheels.

Then, sometime in the late '90s, he got the idea to revive his most successful commercial franchise. He (co-)wrote(!) three bad scripts, and then hired a wooden actress (Natalie Portman), a whiner (Hayden Christensen), and one good sport (Ewan McGregor), whom he took upon himself to direct. Typical example from Episode I: young Anakin Skywalker--ten years old--asks, "Does every star have a system of planets?" when most kids or normal humans would ask, "Does every star have planets?" Does the idea of a trade dispute sound like a particularly interesting or believable means for overturning a galactic republic? And, as one reviewer I read noted, Lucas's handle on politics is somewhat shaky. Where else but in the Star Wars universe would queens be elected and senators be appointed? Lucas was safer when he followed the story arc he stole from Asimov's Foundation trilogy or Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. When he tries to resurrect his vision of the Nixon administration by superimposing it on a stolid, Rennaissance (or Roman)-like culture in space, he fails utterly.

I tried to give Phantom Menace the benefit of the doubt, even with Jar-Jar Binks around as some sort of dyslexic, fishheaded comic foil with a taste for reggae. I respected Liam Neeson, who like Alec Guinness before him added a little class and gravitas to what was, in essence, a kid's adventure story. But (spoiler alert) we knew he was doomed going into it.

And you know, I could tell Episode I was in trouble when I bought the soundtrack a couple weeks before the film came out. It had the familiar opening theme music, and one kick-@$$ piece of music ("Duel of the Fates"), but that was it. The rest of the soundtrack dozed along. A warning from John Williams, maybe? "I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced." Now, see: that's a line I could dig, and it came from the first film.

Episode II was bad enough to make me think Episode I was charming. Attack of the Clones reached an especially uncomfortable level of awfulness when we delve (so to speak) into the courtship of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala. Would a haughty, highfalutin' princess really fall for this yutz? One might see where Luke's whininess in A New Hope comes from, but that mercifully disappears by the middle of Empire Strikes Back. The action sequences, particularly the ones on the Imperial Capital world, Coruscant, are dazzling and fast-paced. But the characters don't come across as natural. Ewan McGregor is about the only highlight, though Samuel L. Jackson adds a nice dose of bad-@$$ to the Jedi Knights at the height of their powers, and Yoda made a welcome return...at least until the little guy started hopping around with a lightsaber. I mean, come on! Shouldn't he be on Dagobah somewhere, boiling bad cabbage?

Lucas could have redeemed himself by having his buddy Steven Spielberg direct Episode III, a film so bad that I had to look it up to recall the title: Revenge of the Sith. Revenge is supposed to close the Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader story arc, pack the biggest emotional wallop, and set the stage for the original film, "Episode IV." Alas, no. Instead, the audience is treated to more confusion, more baffling battle scenes, and more turgid prose spilling out of the mouths of actors who desperately need to jump to light speed and get the hell off the screen. Thus we have a train wreck (speeder wreck?) every time Natalie Portman opens her mouth: "Anakin, you're breaking my heart!" Barf.

And let's look at "the force" as it is depicted in the prequels. Did it not make more sense and have more coolness when it was just "an energy field created by all living things that surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together"? Or when Yoda said, "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter," you could almost buy it. Heck, it was almost spiritual! Then, in Episode I, we suddenly learn of "midichlorians," which were "symbiotes...organisms living together for mutual advantage...without them, we would have no knowlege of the force." So now the force wasn't something cosmic holding the galaxy together, but more of a natural function (secretion?) of living cells. How disappointing. And, again, how clunky in its exposition!

When the first trilogy came out, my mother refused to watch them, convinced they were more about special effects than story. And yes, I freely admit that the acting in the first and third films (what Gen Xers would call Star Wars and Return of the Jedi) was probably on par with a high school or college play. Empire, while dark and leaving a lot of questions hanging out there, stands out for its pacing, acting (mostly--Mark Hamill's "Nooo! Nooooo!!" on the precipice is nearly Shatneresque in its hamminess), and love story. Jedi ends the series nicely, albeit a bit cutely (Ewoks, f'r gosh sakes???) and gives us an interesting view into the soul of Darth Vader. But we left the theater with a feeling of uplift, of catharsis, of a story drawn well to a satisfying conclusion.

It is not until one goes back and watches Episodes I through III, the "back story" of the original trilogy, that one truly understands what is meant by films that are dominated by special effects to the detriment of story. What are we to make of the philosophy articulated in Episode I ("Feel, don't think")? Or the twisted politics of Episode II? Or the tortured civil war of Episode III, where "there are heroes on both sides"? What is one to make of Anakin Skywalker, a slave "conceived by the force," who goes off to become a Jedi Knight? He constantly fights his passions, disrespects his elders, misses his mother, is easily susceptible to flattery from higher-ups, and has a wicked, murderous temper? What the hell would possess a planetary senator to fall in love with, marry, and have the children of this character? A writer or a director with a sense of accurately portraying human motivations could have answered these sorts of questions in a satisfactory way, even through the lens of a space-fantasy-action-adventure movie. Alas, Mr. Lucas is not such a writer or director, and did not answer these questions well.

The loyal fan in me has all three of these DVDs on my shelf, but the story teller in me allows them to collect dust or, if I feel compelled to watch one of the prequels, skips past large sections of the story for sheer sanity and taste's sake. I don't hold out a great deal of hope for the new animated Clone Wars movie coming into theaters next month, but then again, maybe Lucas finally got someone else to write and direct. Somehow, I've got a bad feeling about this.