More on the Culture of Facebook

I've received a few emails asking why I got off of Facebook (FB) in the last week. Some of the reasons are personal, some are more open for public discussion. Doc and I had an extended discussion about this yesterday, so I thought I'd throw these thoughts out there for whoever wants to pick 'em up and run with them.

I went through several phases in my FB "career." I started out as a newbie, with maybe a dozen friends and a very cautious attitude about the whole thing. Then I cut loose. I posted where I worked, my school information, my pictures and quotation preferences...all that juicy stuff that marketing organizations would kill to know. I accepted friend requests from people I knew and people I didn't. I mixed acquaintances with friends with work associates with total strangers. And I developed a "FB persona" (writing style) that seemed to fit the punchy social environment. I got about as "web savvy" as a 40-year-old introvert can get, adding applications and games, and beefing up my FB "friends" list to 500+ people. But then the problems started.

Some of the strangers were a bit odd. I'm thinking of the kid from California (or wherever) who TYPED IN ALL CAPS a lot, using bad spelling, random ellipses, and other odd symbols. Some folks were "space groupies," gung-ho just to glom onto someone who worked for NASA. My first "culling of the herd" was to get rid of the 150+ strangers on my FB list.

FB started getting uncomfortable for me when I started getting friend requests from coworkers, bosses, and customers. Suddenly I had to watch my language, watch what I was saying, maintain a certain "level of performance" or whatever. And because I accepted all of these invitations, it became more and more apparent to me that I was always "on stage." It was like being a celebrity with paparazzi following me around all the time, but without the money that comes with it. And despite the appeal of my online persona, I realized that it took a lot of energy to be "happy/funny Bart" all the time. I couldn't vent about certain things (for instance, the potentially imminent demise of my current dream job or personal or family issues) because it was all on stage.

People worry about "the surveillance society." I worry about "the exhibitionist society." There are some things I'd rather not share or discuss with the entire electronic world. My desire for privacy is almost quaint and hypocritical now, given my presence in the blogosphere, Twitter, and elsewhere, but there are still some parts of my life that I consider nobody's damned business unless I make it your business. It baffles me how people can and will share their major personal crises on the web (but then I found similar behavior on Jerry Springer, Sally Jessy, et al., also peculiar).

I didn't like getting lectures about joining this or that FB group because Someone might not approve. Whatever happened to free speech? Free association? Well, a lot of that goes away if you expect to pay your bills. So I decided to take my business, space, and local acquaintances off the list. That left people from high school, Disney, and other folks from my life pre-Huntsville. Two hundred and fifty folks gone. And an interesting note there: of those 250 I removed from the list, maybe half a dozen of them followed up with me to ask WTH I was doing "defriending" them (as if my FB status somehow affected my actual state of mind/friendship in the real world). No, no, I assured them. This was strictly a business/personal decision.

Now since then I've had a lot of other things happen in my life that are, again nobody's damned business, and those other situations, are not things I care to share with the entire electronic world, or, more specifically, the 250 people I had left on my FB friends list--family, friends, or other. So I quit, cold turkey. And yes, no doubt I've hurt feelings here and there through this action. But really, I have work to do in the real world, which includes taking care of situations that are nobody's damned business. That requires time and bandwidth (mental and electronic), which are now freed up because I'm not on FB anymore. Will I return? At some point, yes, no doubt. But it will be in a more limited fashion, on my terms, and with any luck it will not be a daily activity. There's a real world out there, which I need to get away from the computer to enjoy.

Think I'll do that right now.

Rebel Walking

I did something quite radical for a 21st century person today: I took a long walk and didn't bring my smart phone with me. My dirty little secret is that enjoyed the time immensely. The iPhone, with its Facebook, internet, and other apps, makes it very easy to stay in touch with the world, and for the rest of the world to be in touch with you. There's a problem with that scenario if you're an introvert: there are times when you just want the world to leave you the heck alone.

It is all too easy, even if the phone is off, to pull it out of your pocket and turn it on "just to keep up with what's happening." And the stimulus/response effects Facebook produces are akin to gambling, I think--bright lights, pretty pictures, instantaneous response, and suddenly, YAY! You get a message from somebody you know, someone you knew, or someone you've never met. The more messages you send out, in general, the more messages you get back, to the point where you keep the machine by your bed because you might get something in the middle of the night. Electronic addictions are no prettier than drugs, but they at least have the advantage of being legal and socially acceptable, so long as you're not texting while driving or somesuch thing.

But taking a break from the machinery makes me all too conscious of the fact that time spent socializing is time I'm not spending writing. Also, the instantaneous nature of texting, email, instant messaging, or Facebook starts to condition the user--instead of the user being able to turn on, access, and turn off the data at their convenience, there's a tendency for the data to demand instant attention. After all, if you didn't need it right away, why would you carry the data-access machine with you everywhere you go? Some of my best, most relaxing naps in the last year have been on airplanes because I know I'm not going to get a call, text, email, or some other thing that demands instant response.

We're already a nation of short attention spans. What is all this instant information gratification going to do to us? The mind reels.

Banking Here and Abroad

The Swiss care more about your privacy than the U.S. Government does...even when you break the law!

http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSTRE5236OL20090304?feedType=RSS&feedName=topNews

Follow-Up: Bad Behavior, Embarrassing Pictures, and Job Security in Internet Age

Having vented previously on people's foolish behavior on the internet, I now must take a contrary stance. Why? Because, while the new reality of the world is that individuals can get fired for bad or embarrassing behavior they exhibit on the internet, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's good or right.

That Obama speech writer was tacky, but did his behavior rise to the level of a punishable offense? Did a hockey player deserve to be suspended from his job because of some sexist, crass remark about a former girlfriend? It depends on who you talk to.

When people talk about "political correctness," this is what they mean. There are just Some Things That Must Not Be Said. It is a manner of thinking and speaking that restrains anything that might be perceived as insulting to particular individuals or groups. Now am I endorsing full-out rudeness, crudity, or impolite behavior? No. However, I know that no one is capable of perfectly well-behaved, appropriate speech, partially because the rules keep changing, and partially just because people are people, and slips of the tongue are likely to happen. In short, we need to lighten up.

The end result of PC-speak is, as George Orwell notes in his description of Newspeak in 1984, to restrict the range of political speech and (by derivation) thought. If you can't say certain things--laughing at or judging particular behaviors--it becomes impossible to offer up alternative views. So today businesses will fire someone because of individual, personal crassness. What will be next? What happens when it's your turn to make a slip that shows up on the internet?

How do we fix this? I have no frickin' clue.

Bad Behavior, Embarrassing Pictures, and Job Security in Internet Age

It's amazing how many people have put themselves into hot water by posting or having things posted about their behavior on the Internet. Consider the following:

An Obama speechwriter is in trouble for joking around with a friend and pretending to grope the breast of a Hillary Clinton cutout.

In the sports world, a Calgary Flames hockey player is about to be suspended for comments he made regarding another player picking up his "sloppy seconds" (i.e. his ex-girlfriend).

But one need not look to the famous to see examples of people screwing up their lives because of some bad behavior appearing on the internet. Workers have been fired for postings made on Facebook. Criminals have been caught showing off or doing bizarre things and then bragging about it on the Internet.

What is it with people? Once upon a time, people had pictures taken at inopportune times, and they could burn the negatives and be done with it. No more. Now those pictures can be taken with a phone and emailed around the world before any explanation or apology can be issued. Even the burning-the-negatives-and-prints strategy is not a guarantee that personal foibles remain private. Digital scanners can commit those pictures to electronic format, and from there they end up who knows where.

Aside from the crudity and general stupidity of the actions, there's also this seemingly willful ignorance of how actions performed in the virtual world can affect the real world. The internet, with its limited, albeit worldwide opportunity for publicity, allows people to put their personalities "out there" for all to see. I've succumbed to this myself, via blogging and Facebook. But I also know that my coworkers and managers either read or see what I do. Thus my unwillingness to get extremely foul in my language or to post pictures from friends' bachelor parties. The electronic world has made everyone potential victims of tabloid journalism, and I don't think Gen Y has fully absorbed what that can mean for their futures.

The bottom line on all this is that, if you do something stupid and photographic evidence exists that you did said stupid thing--or you yourself have posted that evidence--you have to accept that there will be consequences. That Obama speech writer and hockey player are about to learn what those consequences are. With the internet and wireless and digital cameras everywhere, it is increasingly difficult to avoid any private sins from becoming very public. And that lack of privacy and public willingness to display (or unwillingness to hide) bad behavior can result in you losing your job. It might not sound fair, but it is very much the way of the world.

There was a phrase that was very popular in the '60s: "The personal is political." Well, welcome to the 21st century, where "The personal is professional." Meaning, if you exhibit some sort of negative personal behavior or attitude or belief, and it's on the internet, your professional future can be eroded very quickly if you embarrass your employer. Bosses can Google, too.